Healing from Sexual Violence

Sexual violence, whether child sexual abuse, rape or sexual assault carry a significantly heavy burden and weight for those who were subjected to these crimes.

Crimes of a sexual nature can trigger intense feelings of guilt and shame, often times these feelings and emotions are being carried by the wrong person; the victim.

Sexual Abuse and Shame

As part of my Master’s qualification, my research project explored the correlation between childhood sexual abuse and shame. Learning to understand and recognise the weight of shame carried by those who experienced sexual abuse.

Shame can be a difficult emotion to carry and the darkness it brings with it can result in unhealthy coping strategies such as;

• suicide ideation

• self-harming

• eating disorders

• alcohol and drug usage

• panic attacks

• compulsions

• social media addiction

• obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

Shame is an emotion we often don’t talk about, even in counselling, as by it’s nature it makes us want to turn away from it.

Part of recovering from child abuse, involves addressing this shame, giving it space to be explored and bringing it into the light. Darkness is what perpetuates the pain of shame, but openness and light is what diminishes it.

Rape and Sexual Assault

Rape and sexual assault can happen to both men and women and the impacts of it can be all-encompassing and often misunderstood.

Whether the perpetrator was someone you knew, or not it can leave us feeling unsafe, alone and terrified. The first step in trauma therapy for sexual violence is establishing a feeling of safety. Someone robbed you of your sense safety and I want to help you get it back.

We can do this through creating a space where you are in control, where you get to chose what happens and where you can lean into the support offered. After acts of sexual violence our body no longer feels like our own, so we want to start by reclaiming your ownership of your body. This can start with some gentle somatic exercises to help you connect with your body, and to remind yourself that it is yours again.

Sexual violence leaves us feeling powerless and helpless, the people who carry out these crimes do so from a place of power and control. Recovering from sexual violence involves rediscovering our own sense of power and bringing back control around our safety and our bodies. Only once we have done this part can we begin to explore the story around what happened, and write a different ending.